23 September, 2011

The strong-willed child

"Parenting a strong-willed child is the biggest invitation to grow that you will ever have."
Jenny Hale, pg. 19 of the latest Parenting magazine

Those of you who've been following me for a while know how much I have struggled with Turbo. He is an amazing and intelligent boy...and o, so, so strong-willed.

This whole article was written for ME!

"At times you will feel exhausted, powerless, bullied, guilty and overwhelmed." Yes, yes, yes.

And I'd like to add "trapped" to the list.
The two four-hour sessions of kindy per week are just not enough but they simply cannot offer more due to huge waiting lists and demand, and we can't afford daycare, even with the government help.

With strong-willed children, there is often a constant barrage of demands and challenges, and this has really been wearing me down. I have felt low, and depleted and on the verge of tears a lot of the time.

I said to Mr Samoa last night that I feel like I'm taking orders from Turbo sometimes!

I KNOW yelling and threats are no-goes, but I found myself doing just that a lot more than I should. 

So yesterday's email from a public kindergarten saying they had space to take Turbo for four mornings was really a bit of
a God-send.
I actually would have preferred to take three mornings but that's not how it works.
Four it is. Big jump.
But maybe he can skip one every couple of weeks.

I think it's going to be so good for both of us.
And hopefully my emotional reserves will start to fill up again!

One day, Turbo's strength and decisiveness will inspire others and I'll be glad for his ability to go against the grain, know what he wants to achieve and to perservere.

"Parents of such strong children need every tool in the box and the flexibility to choose which tool for which time."
And so my daily hourly prayer is for wisdom so that I can bring him up well.
Thank goodness I have some Higher Help!

 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5


meg said...

Oh gosh Penny I thought that article was just for me! I'm thinking that I might see if they have one of those parents inc courses on the subject because I'm regularly struggling with my 5 year old whose behaviour is in stark contrast to his sweetly compliant older brother.

Sammy said...

Great news about Kindy- I think he'll be fine with 4 days. I already think Rupi needs to go to 3 full days- boys seem to need that social environment and interaction!

jacksta said...

I almost pop open a bottle of champagne the day kindy calls to say they in for morning kindy...good for them and good for me...win win

Meghan at MNM's said...

You are such an amazing mama to your boys, and I love that first line from the magazine about the fact it is the best opportunity to grow. Seeing it in a positive way is so important to keep your spirits up.

Even though some days it must be a relief just to make it through the day, don't forget that God especially handpicked you to Turbo's mama because he knows you are exactly the best and right person to be his mum!

xx Meg

Cat said...

Ahhh Penny I hear you YES I hear you - I get two full days with the option of four (I choose to only use two most weeks) and I relish those two days oh yes oh yes oh yes I do! . . . My Philosopher and Tsunami are SO different in personality in fact I think Philosopher lulled me into a false sense of security being a Mum xxx
You will be a different Mama for it - love and hugs to you

Simoney said...

oh yay penny about kindy! Is it ferndale or Mark rd?
{hoping its mark rd}
I got a call from them with a place for scrag before we flew out but they wanted us to take it right away, obviously we couldn't but they said he has a definite spot starting next january, beginning of the year.
Turbo will LOVE it there... it is VERY boy freindly, awesome outdoor play - Dash loved it and so did miss fab.
and I hear it is even BETTER now than it was back then...

Sarah of 'Catching the Magic' said...

Yah for more Kindi hours! I loved reading this post and the quotes. I have highly spirited children and some of their personality traits are very challenging to parent when they are young - but I know will be strengths when they are older - such as energy, passion, determination, perfectionism, sensitivity, emotion... I could go on, but you already know this :)

Enjoy a little more time to build on those reserves and expand the tool box xxx Well done!!